I've joked around about it a time or two, but last week I came to the realization that I ABSOLUTELY have a real life addiction to the computer, and a real life addiction to food. Sure, a lot of moms love a chocolaty snack and a little computer time... but I seem to be incapable of controlling my need for both. Let me give you an un-exaggerated, true example:
The situation? The other day I woke up, stayed in my PJ's, gave my kiddos yogurt and grapes, plugged them into the TV, and then sat and surfed Pinterest and Facebook for 3 hours! When I finally realized how much time I had wasted and how long my kids had been watching TV, I decided to FINALLY get myself and my kids out of our PJ's and attempt making a recipe from pinterest rather than just staring at one. So we all got dressed and then made some of the most amazing cookies on the planet earth... but then what? Well, then we all ate a cookie and some lunch, Lily went down for a nap, Brooklyn went up to her room to color for quiet time, and I sat back down at the computer desk and ate 15 cookies BY MYSELF whilst wasting my time (and simultaneously storing extra calories) checking, and rechecking my email and facebook to see if anything new happened in the last 30 seconds. Its sad but true. I thought long and hard about this situation (that happens more than I'd like to admit) and decided I would put an end to it. I threw away all the yummy snacks in my cupboards and turned off the computer in hopes of having more productive and meaningful days.
The problem? I still had ingredients to make snacks when a craving hit (and I did). Also, my kids are very independent and easily entertained, so I had too much time on my hands and chose to use it playing around on the computer since I still had the power to turn the computer on. Every time I passed the darn thing I turned it on and compulsively checked my emails and my favorite blogs... and every time I passed the kitchen, something new and yummy entered my mouth, and incidentally, my already full belly.
Moral of the story? Sometimes mommies need discipline too, and sometimes they can't give it to themselves. I realized I actually needed help. I identified the root of the problem: I often feel lonely in the stay-at-home mom universe and I turn to food and the computer to fill the void. Then I asked for help! I asked my wonderful and always supportive husband to take ALL the Halloween candy to work and only bring home one piece per child each day. I made him throw away all the cookies, cake, and frosting in our fridge and on our counters. And then I had him do the unthinkable! I made him lock the computer. That's right! Last week every morning before he left to work, my husband locked our computer so I could not access it. Then when he got home he unlocked it.
Why so extreme? Well, I recognized my need for purpose and motivation when trying to overcome a problem, and I needed to see my role as a stay-at-home mom as a job that starts at 8 am and ends at 5 pm. After that, parenting is a joint effort shared between my wonderful husband and myself. But during those hours it is my responsibility to teach and care for my children. And like many work places, the employee (me) should not be allowed to waste work hours on websites like pinterest and facebook.
The result? Last week was the funnest and most tiring week I've ever had with my children! When they colored, I colored with them. When they ate, I ate with them. When they ran around outside, I ran with them. I did not merely sit and observe their activities, I became an itrigul part of them, teaching along the way. I had so much fun and so did they. On top of that, my house was clean each night when my husband came home from work, and dinner was on the stove! And our whole family slept better than ever at the end of each active and productive day!
The point? If you are struggling with an addiction yourself, ASK FOR HELP. Sometimes we just can't do everything by ourselves. And sometimes we just need a little discipline enforced by people we love, and who we know love us as well. Obviously I am still using the computer, but I am learning moderation. For the next 3 days my husband is out of town for work and he left the computer unlocked for me. After a week of going without, I am trying to catch up on blogging, but still trying to remember to use moderation and to play with my kids. I think this will be a long process but one that will really make a difference in my life and the lives of my family members. All addictions, no matter how harmless they seem, cause damage to the addicted person and those they love. But I will overcome my vices! Wish me luck!
Naomi